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Showing posts with label sentimental me. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sentimental me. Show all posts

Friday, October 19, 2012

Temperamental

Have you ever felt like you knew there are tonnes of work waiting to be done but,
1. the more it made you feel like sleeping and never ever have to get up
2. hardly get any peaceful sleep since you always sit up awake in the middle of the night haunted by what you have YET to do
3. spending a long time on your work desk with approximately 0% productivity
4. while you are working on A, B won't stop popping up in your mind and when you moved on to B, C and D keep mopping around 
Yah.. All the above are happening to me nowadays. 

I AM OFFICIALLY DYSFUNCTIONAL


Waddling in this bumpy road, fall,stumble and astray on the way. I don't know is this because I've set a target way to high for me to achieve or I have practically just lost myself. All I feel is unmotivated, senseless and I just can't be bothered but at the same time I know all these are just excuses I made up to cover up my own incapability.

"The Lord will fight for you; You need only to be still." - Exodus 14:14
I feel comforted to be reminded that God will always watch my back. I am meek but my God is strong! However, this intuitive feeling is somehow crushed by how I have constantly let Him down by taking things for granted, not living up to His way, and all that I have done which I myself cannot forgive. What I need is a lot more faith, will and determination which I do not know how much more excuses I will come up for myself till the day I attain it.

Meanwhile...

Thursday, June 28, 2012

Grief

Struck me hard that 
He's gone, forever

They said he's going to become a fairie in heaven
But deep down I know
That's not the case

Wednesday, June 27, 2012

Coalesce

Today is my third day working as an industrial trainee at Fairchild Semiconductor. So far things have gone way better than what I expected and I am indeed very blessed in many ways.
1. Unknown to me on my first day heading to the waiting room to wait for the HR personnel to bring us around, I learnt that I knew all the other trainees. 8 of us from USM and another 2 of them are my matric mates. 
2. The HR personnel is a really nice lady that even knows me by name and called me 'darling'. Haha.
3. I have a really decent supervisor, who is a very competent lady. She has helped me a lot in assigning a really nice, air-conditioned workstation and  a company laptop for me and even arranged a full schedule on what I will learn in the coming 10 weeks.
4. I am in a office filled with really friendly colleagues (or uncles) who will talk to me and even told me to feel free to explore the place and have breaks as I want. Hehe. 

The reason I am inspired to write this entry is due to two happenings. One of which is a good one, another a sad one. Let me start with the happy story. Although I might be, or in fact I am very long-winded, please read the whole story patiently because every details matter. 

When the clock strikes a quarter past five this evening, I happily packed my stuff and walked swiftly towards the carpack (because 1. The earlier you leave, the shorter time you got stuck in the congestion; 2. It's Subway dinner, thanks to Mr. Bangau's reminder. Haha). So as I quickly placed my bags into the bonnet, an uneasy sensation filled me. I knew why when I started the car. My car failed to start up, and since this is not the first time, I knew immediately that my car battery went flat again. And I had just changed it last July! I quickly called my dad for assistant and he told me he will be there as soon as possible, which most probably will be one and a half hour later. Since it was really hot, I walked back to the guard house for shed. When the guards learned that there is some problem with my car, they quickly offered to help. Initially one of them offered to go take a look at my car, when I told them it was the battery that gives all the problem, they helped me to call a nearby foreman for assistant.

While walking out to the carpark to wait for the foreman, that was when God does His miracles. There was this Indian guy who walked towards me and asked if I was looking for anything. I am quite sure I didn't wrote it on my face that I was in trouble. I quickly told him that my car battery died. He instantly offered to help me. Together with two of his friends, they first tried to start the car by pushing it. When the trick didn't work, they helped me to jump start it. Did I even mentioned his car was parked right next to mine? I then went over to the guard to thank him and drove safely home.

Through this incident I learned that God is always watching over me. And even though at that moment I was too shocked to even asked God for help, He already knew what is going to happen and had arranged help for me. There is no such thing as a coincident. God is good, all the time.

As for the saddening news which really broke my heart, I just learnt the death of my ex-babysitter's husband.  I can still remember when I was still young, he really took care of me a lot. During then the broadcasting time for cartoon always crashed with the evening news. And he would always let me watch my favourite cartoon and sacrifice his own 'news hour'. He would always be remembered as a man of few words, but a loving father and elders.

The most remorseful thing for me is that I had been procrastinating. I had always wanted to go over to visit them. However, due to just starting work I had been delaying the day by day. Until my parents came across his children and learnt what happened to him. We constantly think that there will always be a tomorrow. But we never know when will the day come when we missed our loved ones, or they passed by us. For me, I never wanted to let go any other important people or things in my life.

Friday, June 8, 2012

Insight

Backside parking, just a simple action 
That can make you realised 
That nothing is too hard to be done
As long as you have the will 
To stop complaining
And start doing instead
You will be amazed at what you are capable of

There is nothing wrong with failures
Or flaws
Practice makes perfect
No one is borne complete

Life isn't about regretting what you did
Yet continue the same stride

It's time to prove that
Indeed, action speaks louder than words

Thursday, September 9, 2010

夜之四

夜
是静的
是美的
让寂寞灵魂
出来遨游

泪
是湿的
是热的
紧锁在眼眶
绝不掉落

人
是痴的
是狂的
受的伤再多
依然执著

我
已累了
放弃了
星光闪烁下
迷惘无助

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Of Scarecrow

In a dark cold night the full moon shines
brightly among the twinkling light

Chilling breeze comes swiftly by
a lonely scarecrow in the meadow

Alone he stood, alone he spread
in the sunshine in the rain

No one to tell of all his sorrows
no one to hear him when he wept

Behind the hideous face
an angel resides within

Bearing the pain he must kept in silence
From all the despise he was thrown upon

'Who would understand?
Nobody would care.'

A lonely scarecrow stood alone
tears flowing silently
heart throbbing soundlessly

Thursday, July 15, 2010

Blowing Wind

May the wind blows...

Blows away all the suffocation...

Blows away all the complications...

If only a strong wind can blow everything away,
never to come back again...

I wanna stand up tall and strong,
may there be peace in me...

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

夜之一

“ 想念是会呼吸的痛,它活在我身上所有角落…… ”

夜深人静,一个人看着意大利对垒巴拉圭的比赛,突然感到莫名的寂寞。
此刻的我脑海里突然浮现了一个如此陌生,却又那么熟悉的一个人。

“ 不是因为寂寞才想你,而是因为想你才寂寞…… ”
耳边不时响起这首歌,
不过我警惕着自己,
“ 记得要忘记 忘记 我提醒自己
你已经是 人海中的一个背影
长长时光 我应该要有新的回忆 ”

原来我学会了忘记寂寞,但寂寞却不曾离弃我。